Random Inspirational Talk then back to Frustration-Ville

I was in a meeting the other day for the WYD trip (Lord, please grant me my visa and funds :D) and I met a lawyer. My colleague told me to ask him about being a lawyer and about law school, so I asked.

But he first asked me "What is your passion?" I could not answer him. What was I passionate about? What is this one thing that I like the most? I don't know, and I later on (before sleeping) realized how frustrating not knowing what it is. I answered, "I am in the process of finding it out." Then he asked, "Why do you want to go to law school" and I said "When I was in high school, I really wanted to become a lawyer, but when I got into college wala na"

He then narrated how he got into law school, saying his parents pushed him. It was because of the prestige of the profession that his parents wanted him to be a lawyer. And while he was studying, he then found that it was really his passion.

Before he left, he told me that I need to know what I am passionate about and that in the end, whatever I do should make me happy.

I do envy my friends who know now what they want in life. And it gets horribly frustrating and depressing when people ask if I have a job or what are my plans. When I say, "I don't know yet", they give me this "Are you f-ing serious?!" look. Lately, I have been asking myself if I went to the right school and took the right course. I did enjoy being an EU major, but I have no concrete plans on what I want to do with my life.

Oh LIFE, why so cruel and mysterious? :|

How do you get out of an all time low?

So when you gonna let me

When you gonna let me out...

'Cos driving wont' do it

Flying won't do it

Denying won't do it

Crying won't drown it out...

Regret

I cannot say that I have completely realized now, but I am gradually understanding why "Career and Adventure" was the better choice.

1. It would have been cheaper since it will be in Asia.

2. It would have made my CV better (I think) because of the job experience.

3. I would have been away for 2 or 3 months

4. It would have been the "adventure" and "great escape" that I have been dreaming of.

Life after university, made one wrong choice. :(

But probably after 5-10 years, I would probably be laughing at my shallowness at this point :)

Words of the Unemployed

I think there is something horribly wrong with how I make decisions.

There are a lot of opportunities that I did not take and now I feel like a loser.

Tama pa ba ang ginagawa ko?

Dear God,

I have this uneasy feeling about seeing my grades on Saturday. I pray that I don't fail. I am scared that I may be jinxed/may have been jinxed because I told a lot of people that I will graduate. I saw my grade in that one subject I'm really worried about, and basing from the grading system in the syllabus, I know I passed. BUT LORD! I am still unsure until I see all of my grades. I know this is my weakest - most waley semester, but I really pray that I pass.

Amen.

Philo Orals < Situation in the Arab States

If my topic for my final Philo orals was about Libya or Tunisia or Egypt and their current situation, I think I would have done a better job.

Thomas Aquinas gave importance to the preservation of life and clearly what is happening now in Libya is a violation of Aquinas' perspective.

The prostitution topic was tough (in the end, during the orals time), but it was a good discussing it with the groupmates (though I felt really dumb since they were using terms such as maxims, volitions, precepts. My head wanted to explode then)

Time of Discernment

Career and adventure or faith and adventure?

To Malaysia (or Indonesia) or Spain?

I need to decided (FAST) what I want to do.

The global internship, I believe, will be good as a career jumpstart, plus I can live in a country for 2 months or less. And it'll be in Asia, I've always wanted to go to Indonesia and Malaysia. Though I've been to Johor Bahru, Kuala Lumpur will be just as great. And if this program goes well, and if I join the other programs, then probably I will have a good job.

The WYD will be an experience of a lifetime. Going to Spain and seeing multitudes of people having the same belief as yours. And seeing the Pope will be great because (in my very shallow opinion) I will "receive" divine intervention. But the thing is, if I go to Spain, then it will mean that I will not have a job for 3-4months, and my parents want me to earn money to be used for the Spain trip.

WYD reg deadline is on Feb 28, and it'll cost me 10k+.

There will be orientations and interviews next week, and it'll cost me up to 1-2k.

Random Ramblings

1. I don't know what to do after graduation. Well, after seeing my midterm grade for Theology, I was scared that I might not graduate on time. Just because I missed a 10pt quiz, my grade is horrible. :-|

2. The job fair in school is depressing for a social science student, like me.

Scenario yesterday afternoon:

Me: Hi Miss! I am from the school of social science, and my course is European Studies. Do you accept students with that background?

Lady from a research firm: (stares for a long time) Uhmm. We are currently doing a research for Coca-Cola Philippines. blah blah blah [I forget what she mentioned exactly about Coca-Cola]

Me: Oooooh. Um, so can I still apply?

Lady: Sure. When are you graduating?

Me: This March

Lady: So can you start on April or May?

Me: Umm, maybe May or June... (hands over the resume) Thank you!

Scenario this afternoon:

Me: Hi! I am from the school of social science, and my course is European Studies. Do you accept students with that background? And what are your current vacant positions

Lady from another research firm: Well, we are currently in need of analysts and researchers for different products, markets... blah blah blah The HR will do the matching with the skills that the applicants have with what the company needs.

Me: Okay. Can I still pass my resume?

Lady: Of course. We'll call you if we have a vacancy.

Me: Okay great. Thank you! (Hands over resume)

Dude behind me: Hi! I'm from the School of Management, and I'm wondering if you would accept students from my course?

Lady: (excited voice) Oh yes we do. Since your background in market research... [was walking away]

Really depressing. :-|

3. I feel talentless. I don't have creative skills - drawing, writing, singing or dancing, nor am I over the top passionate about something. I am a blah - your average university student.

4. Spain doesn't seem to be exciting anymore :-|

5. I'll be "age-ing" next week, and I feel I have not accomplished something awesome/great in my life. Am I that boring?

Enough of the emo rambling. :-) Here's my new favorite song, (well) to cheer me (or you) up :-)

Seriously Want

I WANT A TICKET. Even if it's the 3k one, I'd be really REALLY HAPPY :-)